All of Us Also Lived Among Them

The past few days have been pretty tiring. I have felt worn down and tested in many different ways. Wednesday we had a team planning meeting in the morning with Nafatali and then we ate a quick lunch. Afterward I had two one-on-ones back to back which in itself is pretty exhausting. Thursday was similar in that after a team breakfast Hiliary and I went to the Nav Headquarters for a meeting with Mary, then down town to get money out, then into the dorms to share the bridge illustration with some students.

Today we had our team meeting at the Y and we all started out kind of melancholy. I think we are all feeling the weight of this trip and some of us shared our frustrations and dissapointments with how things are going. Something I have been learning, as I have touched on in earlier blog posts is the fact that the Lord is the provider of all of our needs. I am seeing this over and over both in my reading through the Old Testament as well as in my time here. My biggest struggle as many of you know has been in the area of safety and security. I realize now that I am away from the comforts of home just how much I relied on other people and places and things for security. God is showing me how he is the ultimate protector and provider and no person, place or thing can offer me complete security. Though I can avoid shady places in town, and the guys can walk close to me, there are still going to be tough times when all of that fails me and I still feel afraid. That is why it is so important that my trust is in the Lord.

Along with that I am also being shown how little I previously believed that God provided for all of my needs. I definitely confused the words "deserve" and "need". What do I, as a sinner, deserve? Nothing, death, judgement. But what does God give to me? Blessing upon blessing! I was really encouraged as I thought about how, when Todd and I sit down to eat dinner together, he almost always thanks the Lord for providing for all of our needs. What an amazing prayer of thanksgiving to God! It is so true and at the same time so prideful of me not to believe it. I think that I acknowledged that God gave me some things, and provided for some of my needs, but I really dont think that I recognized and gave thanks to God for providing for all of my needs. Being away from the familiar and comfortable, as well as reading through the story of creation in Genesis, I am seeing more and more each day here how God does provide for all of my needs (of which only he truly knows). Its an exciting thing to recognize and I would challenge all of you to evalute how you view the things in your life that you have been blessed with. I would also encourage you to give thanks to God for all the amazing things he has done, is doing, and will do in your lives.

Something I have also been convicted about is my lack of compassion for many of the people in Nairobi. It is easy for me to show compassion towards the students that I know, or the people who are nice to me here, but what about those who threaten my safety, or give me mean looks, or try to rip me off? A verse that really brings me back to reality is Ephesians 2:3-5: All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest we were by nature objects of wrath. But becuase of his great love for us God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in our transgressions, it is by grace you have been saved. Wow...I was just like them and it is only by God's grace that I am saved. Also, as Jesus dies on the cross, what does he do? He prays for the people. He says in Luke 23:34 Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing. My prayer to God is that he would give me a spirit of compassion and love for these people of darkness. That I would ask God to forgive them and bring them to him because "they do not know what they are doing".

Thanks for reading have a great day :)

-Sacha